The Punt Returner Got Smacked

Think Of Iraq As "east Korea," Because It Was A Shoot The Cuffs War For The Edification Of Kim Jong Il To Let Him Know We've Now Circled The Suvs. Iraq Was About Breaking Adhesions, Getting Lean, Staying Frosty - In Short, Getting Ready For The Big Doug Macarthur Memorial Cage Match To Come.

Obama Better Hope A Kicked Ass Is Covered By Obamacare.

Then People Ask Me If I'm Worried About The Effects Of Global Warming On My Kids. Well, Obviously I Love My Kids And I Want Them To Live To Be A 100. So That's Another 1.8. My Kids' Kids? Three Point Six. I'll Just Tell Them We Moved To Phoenix.

It's Wrong To Discriminate Based On Skin Color When There Are So Many Other Reasons Not To Like Someone.

President Bush Gave His First-ever Presidential Radio Address In Both English And Spanish. Reaction Was Mixed, However, As People Were Trying To Figure Out Which One Was Which.