The Problem Is, Women Have

If I Were An Animal, I'd Probably Be A Bald Eagle, Since I'm Already Bald And I Love To Fish. But I'd Probably Be A Shaky-ass Eagle Because I'm Afraid Of Flying.

To Be No. 1 On The 'new York Times' Best-seller List, Well, That's Alarming. Having Been A Stand-up Comedian, I Think It's Surprising To A Lot Of People That I Had The Insight I Had.

Other Than My Foundation - Mentoring Programs - Everything I Do Is For Money.

The Truth Is I've Always Been A Christian. What's Amazing, Is That The Flaws That Come With Christianity Are Really Weird, Because Mine Have A Microphone And A Camera Attached To Them. Most People Don't Have To Live Under That Microscope.

My Father Was Married To Mother 'til The Day He Died, For Over 64 Years. He's Why I Kept Trying To Get The Marriage Thing Right. All I Knew Growing Up Was That My Father Was Married To And Loved My Momma, Period. He Worked Hard, Made Some Money, And Put It On The Dresser. She Spent It On The Family, And He Went Out And Earned Some More. He Taught Me The Most About Love.