The Padded Outfits, The Bad

Have You Ever Seen That Guy Who Has The Record For Fattest Man In The World? Bob Hughes, The Fattest Man In The World... 1400 Pounds. Ladies And Gentlemen, The Man Has Let Himself Go.

Let's Face It, The Human Body Is Like A Condominium Apartment. The Thing That Keeps You Really Enjoying It Is The Maintenance. There's A Tremendous Amount Of Daily, Weekly, Monthly And Yearly Work That Has To Be Done. From Showering To Open Heart Surgery, We're Always Doing Something To Ourselves. If Your Body Was A Used Car, You Wouldn't Buy It.

I Won't Do Something Unless I Can Get At Least Two Or Three Good Laughs Out Of It. If I Can't, It's Not Gonna Make The Team.

Sometimes The Road Less Traveled Is Less Traveled For A Reason.

Cry When You Get A Golden Globe. Then You Can Get An Oscar Nomination.