The Only Women I Publicly

I Know I Probably Should Be Sad About My Mother's Cancer... But She Still Hasn't Seen The Last Kiss, You Know?

I Mean, I Understand That Scrubs Was My Big Break, But Sooner Or Later You Have To Move On. I've Already Directed A Movie, Which Received Very Good Reviews, So It Just Seems Much More Important To Me Now. I Feel That In Order To Better Foster My Creativity As An Actor And Director At This Point, I Need To Be Surrounded By Other Talented, Artistic Individuals, Instead Of Just Goofy Comedians.

I Once Fisted Two Babies And Then Used The Corpses As Boxing Gloves To Fight Off The Grieving Parents.

I Don't Even Like The Show That Much, I Mean, It's About Doctors. It's Not Like Doctors Are As Important As Actors Anyway, I Bet I've Saved More Lives With My Acting Talent Then Any Doctor Has.

I'm Not Gay, But I'm Still The Kind Of Guy Where, Even Though You Have No Chance, They Still Want To Hang Around Me So You Can Get A Good Mental Image And Jerk Off To Me Later.