The Only Way I'd Worry

I Didn't Even Graduate From High School. I've Never Told Anybody That Before. I Got My Degree Later, When I Was In The Army.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

No, We Don't Cheat. And Even If We Did, I'd Never Tell You.

Baseball Is Played By All Countries Now, And Softball, Too.

The Saddest Day Of The Year Is The Day Baseball Season Ends.