The Only Reason I Would

I've Exercised With Women So Thin That Buzzards Followed Them To Their Cars.

Having A Delivery Covered By Medicare Just Isn't Going To Fly. It's Too Risky For A Woman To Put A Baby Down And Not Remember Where She Left It.

I Have Paid As Much As $300 A Night To Throw Up Into A Sink Shaped Like A Seashell.

Making Coffee Has Become The Great Compromise Of The Decade. It's The Only Thing "real" Men Do That Doesn't Seem To Threaten Their Masculinity. To Women, It's On The Same Domestic Entry Level As Putting The Spring Back Into The Toilet-tissue Holder Or Taking A Chicken Out Of The Freezer To Thaw.

Encourage Independence In Your Children By Regularly Losing Them In The Supermarket.