The Only Reason I Can't

Frank Sebastiano Is A Real Write. He Has Two Emmys, One From 'snl' And The Other From 'the Chris Rock Show' . The Only Award I Have Is An Fm-mmy.

I Have A Bad Gambling Problem. You're Not In Show Business For 12 Years And Dress Like This Without A Bad Gambling Problem.

I'm Not Going To Lie To You Fellas, I've Been Drinking

It's Good To Be Alive.

I Used To Be A Longshoreman. I Didn't Go To College. I Have A Voice That When I Say Something, It Can Sound Way Meaner Than You Think It Is.