The Man Who Invented Doritos

President Obama Just Made His First Presidential Trip To The State Of Utah. Obama Spent His Time In Utah Just Like You'd Expect - Telling People, 'uh, No, I Don't Play For The Jazz.'

A New Helicopter Service Called Gotham Air Is Now Offering Users Cheap Flights From Manhattan To Jfk Or Newark Airports That Start At Just $99. If There's Two Words I Trust Together In The Same Sentence, It's 'cheap' And 'helicopter.'

Today Russia Announced That It Will Join America's Fight With The Terror Group Isis. Then Putin Said, "but I Did Not Say Which Side.

I Became A Yankees Fan For A Few Years. But Now, I Gotta Say, I'm Really Rooting For The Red Sox.

The Heroic New York Doctor Who Caught Ebola Has Been Declared Ebola Free. President Obama Called The Doctor To Thank Him For His Selflessness And Compassion. Then To Be Safe, Obama Threw His Phone In A Trash Can And Lit It On Fire.