The Government Is Unresponsive To

For The First Year Of Marriage I Had Basically A Bad Attitude. I Tended To Place My Wife Underneath A Pedestal.

I Didn't Know He Was Dead; I Thought He Was British.

When I Asked My Mother Where Babies Came From, She Thought I Said Rabies. She Said You Get Them From Being Bitten By A Dog. The Next Week, A Woman On My Block Gave Birth To Triplets... I Thought She'd Been Bitten By A Great Dane.

The Chief Problem About Death ... Is The Fear That There May Be No Afterlife - A Depressing Thought.

You Can't Control Life. It Doesn't Wind Up Perfectly. Only-only Art You Can Control. Art And Masturbation. Two Areas In Which I Am An Absolute Expert.