The Fans Were So Psyched

Republicans Also Took Control Of The Senate After Gaining Another Seven Seats. I Haven't Seen The Gop Get This Many Seats Since Chris Christie Made An Airline Reservation.

New York Mayor Bill De Blasio Has Been Positioning Himself To Challenge Hillary Clinton For The Democratic Nomination. Hillary Once Developed A Program To Deliver Rural Healthcare, While De Blasio Once Dropped A Groundhog On Its Head.

After Donald Trump Wrote Lindsey Graham's Cellphone Number On A Piece Of Paper And Showed It To Everybody, Graham Said He's Getting A New Phone. Which Explains Lindsey Graham's Latest Campaign Slogan, 'new Phone, Who Dis?'

The Senate Came One Vote Short Of Granting Approval To Build The Keystone Pipeline. Democrats Say The Pipeline Could Accelerate Global Warming. Then People Who've Been Outside Today Said, 'sounds Good To Me. Let's Accelerate That Global Warming.'

During A Recent Event At A Restaurant Called Tommy's Country Ham House In South Carolina, Presidential Candidate Ben Carson Delivered A Speech Right After He Lost His Front Tooth. Which Still Left Him With More Teeth Than Everyone Combined At Tommy's Country Ham House.