The Facts Of Life Are

It Always Does Seem To Me That I Am Doing More Work Than I Should Do. It Is Not That I Object To The Work, Mind You; I Like Work: It Fascinates Me. I Can Sit And Look At It For Hours.

1lb Beefstak, With 1pt Bitter Beer Every 6 Hours. 1 Ten-mile Walk Every Morning. 1 Bed At 11 Sharp Every Night. And Don't Stuff Your Head With Things You Don't Understand.

I Did Not Intend To Write A Funny Book, At First. I Did Not Know I Was A Humorist. I Have Never Been Sure About It. In The Middle Ages, I Should Probably Have Gone About Preaching And Got Myself Burnt Or Hanged.

It Is No More Effort For A Man To Be A Saint Than To Be A Sinner; It Becomes A Mere Matter Of Habit.

That The Boat Did Not Upset I Simply State As A Fact. Why It Did Not Upset I Am Unable To Offer Any Reason. I Have Often Thought About The Matter Since, But I Have Never Succeeded In Arriving At Any Satisfactory Explanation Of The Phenomenon. Possibly The Result May Have Been Brought About By The Natural Obstinacy Of All Things In This World. The Boat May Possibly Have Come To The Conclusion, Judging From A Cursory View Of Our Behaviour, That We Had Come Out For A Morning's Suicide, And Had Thereupon Determined To Disappoint Us. That Is The Only Suggestion I Can Offer.