That's What Gives People Hope

A Friend Of Mine Once Said He Like His Women Like His Parmesan: Strong Smelling And Shaved. I Don't Agree With That, But I Don't Like Hairy Women.

If It Was Just The Potatoes That Were Affected, At The End Of The Day You Will Pay The Price If You're A Fussy Eater.

People Come Up To Me In Supermarkets And Demand Humour. And The Less Amusing I Am, The More They Piss Themselves. So I Say, "i'm Doing My Shopping, Mate, Ok?" And The Guy Will Be On The Floor In Hysterics. Quite Odd. Eventually I Do Have To Say Something Funny So I Usually Go For Something Pathetic Like, "it's A Nice Place To Shop But I Wouldn't Like To Live Here!" And They Roar Again. Wet Themselves. I'm Lucky Though That I Am Not Massively Famous, I Can Get The Tube Without Much Bother. Must Be Awful Being The Beckhams.

I've Met People Who've Dismissed Me, And Then They Find Out That They Like My Work, And Suddenly Their Attitude Changes Toward Me. And I Think That's Very Funny And Very Human. But It's Also Very Unattractive.

You Really Have Got Lots Of Issues! Yeah, Of 'what Car Magazine'!