Thank You, Yard Sales, For

If You're A Sports Fan You Realize That When You Meet Somebody, Like A Girlfriend, They Kind Of Have To Root For Your Team. They Don't Have A Choice.

As Gas Prices Continue To Drop, 28 States Are Now Selling Regular Gasoline For Less Than $2 A Gallon. It's Getting Cheaper To Pump Two Gallons Of Gas Outside The Station Than It Is To Pump Two Squirts Of Nacho Cheese Inside.

Fifteen States Across The Country Have Gas Prices That Have Dipped Below $2. That Means It's Now Cheaper To Buy A Gallon Of Liquefied Dinosaurs Than One Cup Of Coffee At Starbucks.

A New Poll Found That 43 Percent Of Americans Think President Obama Is Doing A Good Job At Handling The Bp Oil Spill. Of Course, The Same Poll Found That 43 Percent Of Americans Hate Pelicans.

Scott Walker's Campaign Slogan Is 'reform. Growth. Safety.' Which Is Actually Similar To Donald Trump's New Slogan: 'mexico. Money. Crazy.'