Thank God For The Gays.

When I Turned 50, I Threw Myself A Big Birthday Party, And I Looked Seriously At What My Life Has Been About. I Recommend This To Everybody. Ask Yourself, "what Have I Done? How Did I Do It? Where'd I Mess Up? Where Did I Do Well?" When I Did This Assessment Of My Life, I Said To Myself, "it Was Really Good." I Made A Lot Of People Laugh, Made A Lot Of People Cry In A Good Way, Brought A Lot Of Joy To People, Picked Up A Lot Of Garbage. And In All Those Years, I Saw A Lot. I Went To Foreign Lands. I Met Interesting People. And I Got It!

I Bear No Grudges. I Have A Mind That Retains Nothing.

I Think The Essence Of Humor Has Not Changed. It's All About Surprise, Facilitating Follows. But The Context Of Humor Has Changed. Previously, The Jokes Were More Related To Current Issues, Political. Today People Make About Each Other Either Funny Or About People Like Kim Kardashian. It's Brutal. Everything Is So Much Vielschmutziger.

I Haven't Left My House In Days. I Watch The News Channels Incessantly. All The News Stories Are About The Election; All The Commercials Are Viagra And Cialis. Election, Erection, Election, Erection! Either Way We're Screwed!

Me, I'm Just A Hack. I'm Just A Schlep-per. I Just Do What I Can Do.