Texas Is A Great State.

Every Gag I Tell Must Be Based On Truth. No Matter How Much I May Exaggerate It, It Must Have A Certain Amount Of Truth.... Now Rumor Travels Faster, But It Don't Stay Put As Long As Truth.

If You Got A Dollar, Soak It Away, Put It In A Savings Bank, Bury It, Do Anything But Spend It. Spending When We Didn't Have It Put Us Where We Are Today. Saving When We've Got It Will Get Us Back To Where We Was Before We Went Cuckoo.

A Company Is Known By The People It Keeps.

Everyone Wants To Vote For The Best And Most Qualified Man, But He Never Runs For Office.

If I Could Kick The Person In The Tail That Causes Me The Most Problems I Could Not Sit Down For A Week