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A "good" Family, It Seems, Is One That Used To Be Better.

Every Damn President Since I Can Remember Has Been So In Love With Foreign Policy That They're Just Like A Schoolboy With A New Girl.

I Have Read A Great Deal About What Animals Dream, But None Of It Has Ever Really Satisfied Me. I Believe They Dream Exactly The Way We Dream, And About Everything In Their Lives--that They Have Good Dreams And Bad Dreams In Almost Direct Proportion, As We Do, To Whether Their Lives Have Been More Good Than Bad. Unfortunately, Because The Majority Of Animals Have It So Much Tougher Than We Do, I Believe That The Majority Of Dreams, Except In The Most Fortunate Petdom, Are Bad.

For An Animal Person, An Animal-less Home Is No Home At All.

People Ask Me What Makes A Good Funeral, And I Tell Them The Most Important Thing Is Your Man In The Casket. If You Have A Man Of Substance In There, You Have The Makings Of A First-class Funeral.