Starbucks Is Planning To Close

Sources Say The Obama Administration Is In The 'final Stages' Of Planning The Closing Of Guantanamo Bay. The Way It's Gonna Work Is, They're Going To Put A Radio Shack Sign Out Front And Let Nature Take Its Course.

In A Speech In South Carolina, Donald Trump Responded To Criticisms From Senator Lindsey Graham By Giving Out Graham's Personal Cellphone Number. Graham Knew Something Was Up When He Saw He Had More Than One Missed Call.

When You Were A Kid, It [work In Ibm] Seemed Like An Awesome Job. I'd Get To Go To Work And Have A Briefcase. I Loved How Dad Wore A Tie And Got A Car. I Didn't Know If All Those Things Came Together. I'd See My Dad Go Off To Work And We'd Wait For Him To Come Home, And We'd All Be Excited To See Him.

During A Charity Boxing Match On Friday, Mitt Romney Lasted Two Rounds Against Evander Holyfield And Raised A Million Dollars. It Was Just Like Holyfield's Fight With Mike Tyson, Except Romney Chewed Off His Other Ear Talking About His 18 Grandchildren.

President Obama Broke A World Record After He Reached A Million Followers On Twitter In Just Five Hours. The Only Guys Not Following Obama? His Secret Service Agents. They Lost Track Months Ago.