South Park Called...they Want Their

When I See A Good Singer, I Get Teary-eyed. Part Of It Is Jealousy Because All Comedians Are Frustrated Rock Stars. That's A Fact.

It Really Bothers Me When Some People Say That All Cops Are Racist. Of Course That's Not True. Most Of You Are Just [expletive] To Everybody.

You Know, Sometimes I Worry, You Know, Is Comedy And My Type Of Comedy Going To Get Stale? Is It Going To Be So Offensive That It Becomes Uninteresting Or So Niche That I Don't Have An Audience Anymore? But It Keeps Getting Bigger And Bigger And Bigger, Where Roasting Now Is A Movement. These Roasts Are On In India, In Mexico.

I Would Vote For You For President But I'm Against Big Government.

Instead Of Running For President, Why Don’t You Try Walking On A Treadmill?