Sometimes You Need A Cigarette.

Are You Shooting Webs Of Stupid At Me?

It's A Horrible Economy But I'm Trying To Do My Part. I Just Bought A New Shower Curtain It Has All The Presidents On It. Do You Know How Hard It Is To Masturbate With All The Presidents Staring At You? And When The Water Hits Them It Looks Like They're Crying.

I've Never Had A Surprise Birthday Party. I've Had Every Other Type Of Surprise. I've Had Surprise Beatings, Surprise Drug Tests, Surprise Daughter I Think.

Never Drink Alone, That's What They Say. But You Know What? If You Drink You Will Never Be Alone, Alright?

I Don't Watch Reality Tv.