Sometimes The Only Solution Is

If You Use Tact You Can Say Anything, Then Make It Funny.

Some Girls Look Beautiful With No Makeup On At All. I Call Them Lazy. Now Go Throw Some War Paint On You Bleak Empty Canvas You.

Pain Only Hurts When You Are Looking For A Reason To Quit. You Don't Feel A Thing When You Know You Can Still Win.

The Whole Thing With Comedy Is That You Are Always In Control. Writer, Director, Actor, Producer, And Sometimes Bouncer. And You Are Just A Piece Of Their Puzzle.

I Never Leave A Dog Alone In A Car On A Hot Day. I Make Sure It's With An Elderly Person Holding A Baby.