Sometimes I Wish I Hadn't

I Was In A Supermarket And I Saw Paul Newman's Face On Salad Dressing And Spaghetti Sauce....i Thought He Was Missing.

My Father Once Told Me, And It's Stuck With Me To This Day: As You Walk Through Life, Every Time You Fart It Pushes You Forward.

I Was On Entourage Last Week Smoking A Bong And Making Out With Hookers And I Did Show Them That Before, Cause It Wasn't A Hard 'r' Cause A Lot Of People Are Watching That Show That They Know, Not My Little One - She's 12, But Very Sophisticated So It's An Unusual Case.

Most People Argue Over Who's Right, Not About What The Truth Is.

I Never Went To Camp As A Kid. I Couldn't Get Into An Ivy League School. I Wouldn't Join A Biker Club.