Sometimes Great Tunes Happen To

You Can't Beat The Beehive For Glam Punkette Attitude.

In The Old Days, When A Star Left A Still-thriving Hit Show, They'd Celebrate By Killing Him Or Her Off. But 'the Office' Dispatched Michael Scott In A Crueler And More Final Way: They Made Him Normal. Since We're Talking About Michael Scott, 'normal' Might Be Stretching It, Obviously.

'the Sopranos' Gets Praised As Novelistic, But It Follows The Most Banal Of Life Patterns, Showing The Sheer Tedium Of Being A Mobster. It Has Dead Spots, Boring Plotlines, Weak Episodes. Characters Develop Slowly, Or Don't. Like Viewers, A Gangster Might Get Bored, Fade Out Of The Action, Then Come Back To Find None Of His Debts Forgotten.

On 'idol,' Steven Tyler Will Be Sitting At A Table With Two Other Judges, And Part Of His Job Will Be Keeping His Yap Zipped While They Talk. This Makes No Sense At All, Since Tyler Has Zero Yap-zipping Skills.

Celebrity Despicability Is A Precious Thing.