Some People Are Born Losers;

It Is Well To Remember That There Are Five Reasons For Drinking: The Arrival Of A Friend, One's Present Or Future Thirst, The Excellence Of The Cognac, Or Any Other Reason

The Low-ceiling Price Bazaar For Sexual Relief Was A Street Called Middie Alley. You Could Barely Get A Pushcart Through This Avenue. Top Price-twenty-five Cents.

My Main Ambition As A Gardener Is To Water My Orange Trees With Gin, Then All I Have To Do Is Squeeze The Juice Into A Glass.

Few Things In Life Are More Embarrassing Than The Necessity Of Having To Inform An Old Friend That You Have Just Got Engaged To His Fiancee.

I Don't Object To Nine Aces In One Deck. But When A Man Lays Down Five Aces In One Hand... And Besides, I Know What I Dealt Him!