So He's Worth A Second

I Don't See Why Ogling Same-sex Kissing Should Be The Exclusive Domain Of Frat Boys Whacking Off To Lesbian Action, That's So Sexist. Feminism Should Be All Inclusive- It Should Be About Sexual Liberation, Equal Pay For Equal Work, And The Fundamental Girl Right Of Boy2boy Appreciation.

Do You Want To Guess What's In Here?" I Asked Dash. "i Think I've Got It Figured Out Already. There's A New Supply Of Red Notebooks In There, And You Want Us To Fill Them In With Clues About The Works Of, Say, Nicholas Sparks." "who?" I Asked. Please, No More Broody Poets. I Couldn't Keep Up. "you Don't Know Who Nicholas Sparks Is?" Dash Asked. I Shook My Head. "please Don't Ever Find Out," He Said.

You Know The Reason The Beatles Made It So Big?...'i Wanna Hold Your Hand.' First Single....brilliant. Perhaps The Most...brilliant Song Ever Written. Because They Nailed It. That's What Everyone Wants. Not 24/7 Hot Wet Sex. Not A Marriage That Lasts A Hundred Years. Not A Porsche...or A Million-dollar Crib. No. They Wanna Hold Your Hand. They Have Such A Feeling That They Can't Hide. Every Single Successful Song Of The Past Fifty Years Can Be Traced Back To 'i Wanna Hold Your Hand.' And Every Single Successful Love Story Has Those Unbearable And Unbearably Exciting Moments Of Hand-holding.

I Wanted To Talk To Someone. But Who? It’s Moments Like This, When You Need Someone The Most, That Your World Seems Smallest.

Because I Withered Under The Glare Of An Actual Invitation, I Was A Firm Believer In Preventive Prevarication--in Other Words, Lying Early In Order To Free Myself Later On.