Skiing Is Better Than Sex

Real Life Has Always Let Me Down. That's Why I Do The Monologues. I Have Always Said I Would Rather Tell A Life Than Live A Life. But I Have To Live A Life In Order To Tell One.

And Just As I Was Climbing Into That First-class Seat, And Wrapping Myself In A Blanket, Just As I Was Adjusting My Pillow Behind My Head, And Having A Sip Of That Champagne, And Just As I Was Bringing Down And Adjusting My Thai Purple Sleep Mask, I Had An Inkling. I Had A Flash. I Suddenly Thought I Knew What It Was That Had Killed Marilyn Monroe.

Everything Is Contingent, And There Is Also Chaos.

When I Was In Therapy About Two Years Ago, One Day I Noticed That I Hadn't Had Any Children. And I Like Children At A Distance. I Wondered If I'd Like Them Up Close. I Wondered Why I Didn't Have Any. I Wondered If It Was A Mistake, Or If I'd Done It On Purpose, Or What. And I Noticed My Therapist Didn't Have Any Children Either. He Had Pictures Of His Cats On The Wall. Framed.

I Knew I Couldn't Live In America And I Wasn't Ready To Move To Europe So I Moved To An Island Off The Coast Of America - New York City .