She's So Fat, She's My

The Only Way I Can Get A Man To Touch Me At This Age Is Plastic Surgery.

I Wish I Could Tell You It Gets Better. It Doesn't Get Better. You Get Better.

I Have No Sex Appeal. If My Husband Didn't Toss And Turn, We'd Never Have Had Any Kids.

I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't Particularly Funny.

Remember A Few Years Ago When They Left Bea Arthur Out Of The Death Reel At The Oscars? Bea Arthur! How Did They Leave Bea Arthur Out? She Was In Mame; She Was In All In The Family; She Was In Maude; She Was A Golden Girl, For God's Sake! Bea Was Not Only One Of Hollywood's Leading Ladies, She Was One Of Hollywood's Leading Men!