She Had To Face The

If You’re Listening To This, Congratulations! You Survived Doomsday. I’d Like To Apologize Straightaway For Any Inconvenience The End Of The World May Have Caused You. The Earthquakes, Rebellions, Riots,tornadoes, Floods, Tsunamis, And Of Course The Giant Snake Who Swallowed The Sun—i’m Afraid Most Of That Was Our Fault. Carter And I Decided We Should At Least Explain How It Happened.

But This Plan Of Yous!' Tawaret Shuddered, Causing A Tsunami Of Jiggling Hippo Flesh.

All I Could Think Of Was That The Teachers Must've Found The Illegal Stash Of Candy I'd Been Selling Out Of My Dorms Room. Or Maybe They'd Realized I Got My Essay On Tom Sawyer From The Internet Without Ever Reading The Book And Now They Were Going To Take Away My Grade. Or Worse, They Were Going To Make Me Read The Book.

Seriously, Who Has Monogrammed Pajamas?

I Held It Up, And Tried To Channel Happy Dog Thoughts Toward Cerberus- Alpo Commercials, Cute Little Puppies, Fire Hydrants.