Self Help Books Are Pointless.

Osama Bin Laden's Death Has Been In The News All Day. Leftish Stations Are Going, 'president Obama Saves The World.' Stations On The Right Are Going, 'obama Kills Fellow Muslim.'

Well, Everyone, Welcome To Shark Week. Oh That's On Cbs And There's Been A Lot Of Cutbacks, So It's Just Friday Night For A Couple Of Minutes. And We Don't Have Any Sharks, Just An Immigrant With A Puppet. Hey, But It's A Start!

The New Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Is Now Pope Francis The 1st. Francis Was Not His First Choice For A Name. But The Vatican Wisely Talked Him Out Of Pope Boo Boo.

Stoners Just Got A Powerful New Ally In The Fight To Legalize Marijuana - Conservative Broadcaster Pat Robertson. He Said It's Time To 'you Know, Legalize It, Tax It, And Keep It Away From Mel Gibson.'

114 Isn't As Old As It Used To Be They Say Its The New 104.