Scientists Think They Can Now

Scientists Say That Texas And Antarctica Were Connected At One Time. In Fact, Early Mexicans Used To Go Through Texas To Try To Sneak Into Antarctica.

Britney Spears Told An Interviewer If She Weren't Famous, She Would Be A Teacher. So Thank God She's Famous.

Today The Secretary Of State Said That Of The 247 Candidates, So Far 115 Of Them Have Been Certified. How Embarrassing Is That? Imagine If You Were Turned Down Because You Didn't Meet The High Standards Set By Larry Flynt And Gallagher.

The Games Haven't Even Started Yet And Already There Are People Complaining About The Horrible Accommodations At The Sochi Olympic Village. Toilets Don't Flush. The Faucets Spew Discolored Water. They Say It's Like Being On A Royal Caribbean Cruise.

President Bush Was In Los Angeles Yesterday Where He Announced His New Campaign Theme - “safer, Stronger, And Tested.” Isn't That A Condom Ad?