Sarah Palin Should Not Be

Be Out Of The Mainstream. I'm Out Of The Mainstream. I Enjoy It, Who Wants To Be In The Mainstream?

Selling Pot Allowed Me To Get Through College And Make Enough Money To Start Off In Comedy.

The Nra Made An Ad Saying That Obama Is Elitist Because His Kids Have Armed Guards. Yeah, That Crazy Obama Thinking His Kids Need Special Protection. I Love The Nra Accusing Anyone Of Being Paranoid. It's Like A Septic Tank Saying, 'you Need A Mint.'

Well, The American Public Always Wanted To Vote For A Guy — And Bush Was The Perfect Guy — Who They'd Want To Have Over For Pot-roast. And George Bush Is That Guy. He Does That Well. You'd Like To Have Him Over For Pot-roast. He Reminds You Of Yourself. Okay. Well, Now He's Been Over, He's Had The Pot-roast. But He's Getting Drunk And Now He's Talking About Stem Cells And Terri Schiavo And Gay Marriage. And Now He's The Guest That Won't Leave.

I Always Wanted To Be A Comedian, Even When I Was A Little Kid. I Had A Funny Father Who Was In The News Business, By The Way. He Was A Radio News Guy. So The News Was Always In My House, And Funny Was Always In My House. It Was Sort Of Just Baked Into The Dna That I Would Do This For A Living, But I Can Remember Being Less Than 10 Years Old And Dreaming About Being A Comedian.