Republicans Are Taking The Defeat

Little Do Women Know What Big Ideas I Have In My Pants.

It Is Appalling To Make Jesus Out Of Food! Now, If You’ll Excuse Me, I Have To Go Bake Some Communion Wafers.

To Most Christians, The Bible Is Like A Software License. Nobody Actually Reads It. They Just Scroll To The Bottom And Click 'i Agree'.

When I Do Stand-up Around The Country, I Often See People Walk Out. This Is A Show That They've Purposely Gone To, Where My Name Is On The Ticket, And It Cost Them $75 Or Something. So, You Think, Wow, That Means That They Either Didn't Know Very Much About Me When They Bought Their Tickets Or They're That Offended By What I've Said. I've Been Doing This A Long Time. Anybody Who Comes To One Of My Shows Must Sort Of Have An Idea Of Where I'm Coming From.

In The Republican Party, Crazy Is A Constituency.