Relationships, Like Eyebrows, Are Better

The Difference Between A Child's Toy And An Adult Toy Is: Location, Location, Location.

My Friend Asked Me I Ever Swam With Dolphins. I Was Like, 'yeah, Of Course. What Distance Are We Talking About From The Dolphins? Because The Last Time I Was In The Ocean, I'm Pretty Sure I Swam With Most Of Them.'

But Long Story Short, I Didn't Start Doing Stand-up Because I Wanted To Have A Tv Show Or Be An Actor Or Even Wanted To Write Sketch Comedy. I Got Into Stand-up Because I Love Stand-up.

Popcorn Is One Of The Only Situations In Which You Eat The Result Of An Explosion.

A Dreamcatcher Works, If Your Dream Is To Be Gay.