President Obama Wants To Raise

Here's The Latest From The Pentagon -- The Generals Are Worried That The White House Is Spreading Itself Thin By Trying To Fight A War On Two Fronts; Afghanistan And Fox News.

A Survey Asked Married Women When They Most Want To Have Sex. 84 Per Cent Of Them Said Right After Their Husband Is Finished.

Halloween's Coming. Kids Get Very Imaginative In My Neighborhood. Last Year, Three Kids Showed Up As Goldman Sachs Executives And Demanded 4.5 Billion Pieces Of Candy.

The Ceo Of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, Married One Of The Enron Secretaries This Week. It's Amazing How Romantic These Enron Guys Can Be When They Realize That Wives Can't Be Forced To Testify Against Their Husbands. Skilling Said Today She Was The Best Secretary Enron Had Ever Had. She Could Shred 950 Words A Minute. ... I Guess They Are On Their Honeymoon Right Now. That's Going Pretty Well. Hey, He's Used To Screwing Enron Employees.

President Bush Announced A Major New Plan For The United States To Put A Man On The Moon, Which Would Be A Really Big Story If This Were 1962. Bush Said He Didn't Remember Anything About The 60's - I Guess He Wasn't Lying.