President Obama Told The Irish

As We Head To War With Iraq, President Bush Wants To Make One Thing Clear: This War Is Not About Oil. It's About Gasoline.

Herman Cain Told A Group Of Occupy Wall Street Protesters To Go Home, Get A Job, And Get A Life. That's The Republican Version Of Hope And Change, Ladies And Gentlemen.

Some Democrats Say The Estimated $60 Billion Dollar Cost Of A War With Iraq Could Be Better Spent At Home. When He Heard That, President Bush Agreed And Announced Plans To Bomb Ohio.

Inauguration Security Was Tighter Than Kirstie Alley In A Pair Of Spandex Pants.

For The First Time Ever, Women Are Scoring Higher Than Men On Iq Tests. Scientists Say It Has Something To Do With Breast Implants -- Not That It Makes The Women Smarter, It Just Makes The Men Dumber.