Pope Francis Is Going To

Remember Evil Russian Dictator Vladimir Putin? He Vanished For 10 Days. He Had Disappeared And There Were A Lot Of Rumors. One Rumor Was He Had Disappeared Because He Had Himself Executed.

Here's What The Kids Get. They Get Free Mcdonald's And Kentucky Fried Chicken For A Year, And 52 Six-packs Of Pepsi. And I'm Thinking, Well, Actually, It Might Be Healthier If They Were Taking Steroids.

The World's Oldest Woman Passed Away At 116. They Keep Dying. I Think That Title May Be Cursed.

Ladies And Gentlemen, After What I've Been Through, I Am Happy Just To Be Wearing Clothes That Open In The Front.

Valentine's Day Money-saving Tip: Break Up On February 13th, Get Back Together On The 15th.