Pity? You Don't Want To

I've Had The Greatest Respect For My Work In This Country By Americans. Critics Have No Brains.

If I Found The Cure For Dystrophy Tomorrow, I Would Do A Telethon In Four Weeks For Acute Pain That In This Country Is A Bigger Problem Than Cancer, Heart, Sickle Cell, Anemia, Name It. It Is - It's Hitting 70 Million Americans.

I Have Nothing Against Women. As A Matter Of Fact There's Something About Them That I Love, But I Just Can't Put My Finger On It.

People Think I'm Against Critics Because They Are Negative To My Work. That's Not What Bothers Me. What Bothers Me Is They Didn't See The Work. I Have Seen Critics Print Stuff About Stuff I Cut Out Of The Film Before We Ran It. So Don't Tell Me About Critics.

From 1936 On, I Have Taken More Falls Than Any Other 20 Comedians Put Together. From The Time I Was 21, I've Taken Them On Everything From Clay Courts To Cement To Wood Floors, Coming Off Pianos, Going Out A Two-story Window, Landing On Dean, Falling Into The Rough. You Do That And You're Gonna Have Problems.