Al Qaeda Has Declared War

That's Why I Believe In A Constitution Which Separates Church From State. I've Seen What Happens When They Get In Cahoots.

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The First Day Of Spring Is Known As The Vernal Equinox. The Equinox Is Special. It Only Happens Twice A Year, Like A Good Night In Ratings For Nbc.

What We Do Have Is Nothin' But Time. Welcome To The Shawshank Redemption Of Late Night!

It's Earth Day Today. Let Me Tell You Something About Polar Bears. They're Endangered But You Have To Be Careful Because A Polar Bear Is One Of The Few Animals That Will Stalk A Human. If You Go To Where Polar Bears Live, It Might Stalk You And When You're On The Plane Going Home, It Might Be Behind You Reading.