People Ask Me, 'did The

I Don't Have Anything Against This Jesus Guy, But Has He Written, Directed, And Starred In His Own Movie?

I'd Like To Think That My Scripts Are More Significant Than Maybe The Bible Or The Book That The Jews Use, Whatever It's Called. And That's Only When I'm Having An Off Day.

Maybe That's All That Family Really Is, A Group Of People Who All Miss The Same Imaginary Place.

I Mean, I Understand That Because They're Disadvantaged That They Deserve Their Own Parking Spots, But Do They Have To Make Them So Wide? I Never Understood How These People Were Allowed To Drive Cars But They Get These Really Neat Chairs With Wheels And They're Still Not Happy, So Instead Of Parking Their Wheelchairs In The Designated Spots, They Upstage Us Normal People And Get The Best Parking Spots With Vehicles That Are Clearly Too Sophisticated For Them To Be Handling. Still, You Should Smile At A Cripple, Because It's The Only Bit Of Happiness They'll Ever Have.

If I Could Change Anything About Garden State, It Would Be To Cast Somebody Else For The Female Lead. Natalie Just Isn't Really That Good Of An Actress. Especially When Compared To Me. Just Watch The Two Of Us, It's Light And Dark. I Am By Far The Better Jew.