Other People's Children's Birthday Parties

Do You Ever Leave A Message For Somebody And The Answering Machine Cuts You Off, And You Have To Decide Whether You Should Not Call Back, Or Call Back And Appear Like A Stalker? "hi. It's Me Again. I Forgot To Tell You That I'm Going To Kill You. Because I'm The Freak Who Keeps Calling And Calling."

I Usually Don't Have A Burger, A Brat, And A Steak But It Is 4th Of July. And I Need The Energy If I'm Gonna Start Blowin Crap Up. It's What The Founding Fathers Would Want.

My Wife's Gotten Really Lazy, Or As She Calls It, 'pregnant.'

I Think When My Mother Died, It Was Such A - You Know, A Shock To The Logic That I Had Been Raised With.

The Reason I Say I'm A Horrible Person Is I Don't Want Myself To Be Presented As Somebody Who's A Great Catholic.