Oprah Is So Rich, I

People Are The Same Wherever You Go. And If They Weren't, They Wouldn't Laugh At The Same S**t.

If You Want To Prevent Abortions, You Make Sure Everyone Has Health Care, A High School Education And Birth Control. Not The Exact Opposite.

You Can't Fake Comedy - It's Not Like A Movie, Where A Director Can Just Cast A Pretty Face.

They Don't Want You To Vote. If They Did, We Wouldn't Vote On A Tuesday. In November. You Ever Throw A Party On A Tuesday? No. Because Nobody Would Come.

That's All We Had When I Was A Kid: Robitussin. No Matter What You Got, Robitussin Better Handle It. "daddy, I Got Asthma." "robitussin." "i Got Cancer." "robitussin." "i Broke My Leg." Daddy Poured Robitussin On It. "yeah, Boy, Let That 'tussin Get In There. Yeah, Boy, Let That 'tussin Get On Down To The Bone. The 'tussin Ought To Straighten Out The Bone."