Oops! I Always Thought Peta

I Can't Be Gay! I'm A Happily Married Conservative, Just Like Ted Haggard And Larry Craig.

And My Daughter Said, 'why Are You Yelling At Us?' And I Said, 'i'm Trying To Discipline You!' And Then She Looked Up At Me With Her Tear-stained Eyes And Said, 'this Is How You Teach Children, By Making Them Cry.' And It Was Such A Clenching Reminder - She Won Not Only The Argument, But She Won Life With That Statement. I Just Burst Out Laughing, And I Think They Were So Surprised That I Burst Out Laughing, That They Did Too.

So If Animals Aren't Our Friends, Then What Are They? The Answer Can Be Summed Up Between Two Buns.

You See, We're America The Beautiful, Not America 'well, At Least She Has A Great Personality'.

Opinions Are Like Demo Tapes. I Don't Want To Hear Yours