One Of Ennui's Most Terribel

When You Feel Perpetually Unmotivated, You Start Questioning Your Existence In An Unhealthy Way; Everything Becomes A Pseudo Intellectual Question You Have No Interest In Responding Whatsoever. This Whole Process Becomes Your Very Skin And It Does Not Merely Affect You; It Actually Defines You. So, You See Yourself As A Shadowy Figure Unworthy Of Developing Interest, Unworthy Of Wondering About The World - Profoundly Unworthy In Every Sense And Deeply Absent In Your Very Presence.

I Want To Stop. I Want To Stay On Fårö, And Read The Books I Haven’t Read, Find Out Things I Haven’t Yet Found Out. I Want To Write Things I Haven’t Written. To Listen To Music, And Talk To My Neighbors. To Live Together With My Wife A Very Calm, Very Secure, Very Lazy Existence, For The Rest Of My Life.

There's Always A Tension In Me Between My Urge To Destroy And My Will To Live... Every Morning I Wake Up With A New Wrath, A New Suspiciousness, A New Desire To Live.

Among Today's Directors I'm Of Course Impressed By Steven Spielberg And Scorsese, And Coppola, Even If He Seems To Have Ceased Making Films, And Steven Soderbergh - They All Have Something To Say, They're Passionate, They Have An Idealistic Attitude To The Filmmaking Process. Soderbergh's Traffic Is Amazing. Another Great Couple Of Examples Of The Strength Of American Cinema Is American Beauty And Magnolia.

When Film Is Not A Document, It Is Dream. That Is Why Tarkovsky Is The Greatest Of Them All. He Moves With Such Naturalness In The Room Of Dreams. He Doesn't Explain. What Should He Explain Anyhow? He Is A Spectator, Capable Of Staging His Visions In The Most Unwieldy But, In A Way, The Most Willing Of Media. All My Life I Have Hammered On The Doors Of The Rooms In Which He Moves So Naturally. Only A Few Times Have I Managed To Creep Inside. Most Of My Conscious Efforts Have Ended In Embarrassing Failure - The Serpent's Egg, The Touch, Face To Face And So On.