One Legged Chickens, I Know,

When You Do Laugh, Open Your Mouth Wide Enough For The Noise To Get Out Without Squealing, Throw Your Head Back As Though You Were Going To Be Shaved, Hold On To Your False Hair With Both Hands And Then Laugh Till Your Soul Gets Thoroughly Rested.

Sekts And Creeds Ov Religion, Are Like Pocket Compesses, Good Enuff Tu Pinte Out The Direction, But The Nearer The Pole Yu Git Thewuss Tha Wurk.

Knowledge Is Like Money, The More A Man Gits The More He Hankers For.

As A General Thing, An Individual Who Is Neat In His Person Is Neat In His Morals.

There Are Two Things In Life For Which We Are Never Truly Prepared: Twins.