Once You Become A Comedian,

I Weirdly Do Consider Myself An Optimist About Love.

Do It Under The Influence Yourself! That's What We're Shooting For! Get Drunk And Make Your Dreams Come True.

I Have No Interest In Art. Let Me Clarify — I Have No Interest In Non-nude Images.

You Want What You Can't Have. And If Someone's Being Shitty To You, Just Move On. If Someone's Being Shitty To You, No Matter How Great They Are, That's Shitty, And You Don't Want Be With Someone Who Treats You Shitty.

I Talk About Stuff Like My Blackberry, Lost, The Internet, Music, Etc. So I Guess That Leads To The "nerd" Moniker. But I Don't Get It That Much To Be Honest. I Guess Its Better Than Being Labeled A "racist" Comedian.