On Christmas Day You Can't

One Of The Problems I See With These Comics On Television, Particularly Cable Television, Is, Since You Can Say Anything In Terms Of Sex And Scatological References And So On, Therefore, You Should Do It. So They All Limit Themselves To These Subjects And This Vocabulary. My Objection Is That It Is A Lack Of Articulateness. Irreverence Is Easy, But What Is Hard Is Wit. Wit Is What These Comedians Lack.

I'm Not Tempted To Write A Song About George W.bush. I Couldn't Figure Out What Sort Of Song I Would Write. That's The Problem: I Don't Want To Satirise George Bush And His Puppeteers, I Want To Vaporise Them. And That's Not Funny.

I Find That People Can Pass Me On The Street Who've Just Seen My Picture In The Paper And They Wouldn't Recognize Me. If They'd Seen Me On Television, The Heads Turn. They Say, "wait A Minute. I Don't Know Who That Is, But He's Somebody.

I Know That There Are People Who Do Not Love Their Fellow Man, And I Hate People Like That!

I Ache For The Touch Of Your Lips Dear, But Much More For The Touch Of Your Whips Dear.