Obama Took A Tour Of

Hillary's Trying To Appear Downhome. Earlier Today She Was Sitting On The Front Porch Of A General Store Whittling A Pantsuit.

Some Secret Service Guys Crashed A Car Into The White House. And They Had Been Drinking When It Happened. Actually, They Hit A Barrier Trying To Get To The White House. It's The Same Thing That Is Happening To Hillary.

Don't Worry. It's Just A Flesh Wound.

President Bush Has Been Silent On Schwarzenegger. Of Course, He Can't Pronounce Schwarzenegger.

When Martha Gets Out She'll Be Under House Arrest In Her Big $40 Million Mansion In Bedford. Boy, That'll Teach Her. She's Only Allowed Out Of The House For Doctors Visits, Grocery Shopping, Or To Dump More Stock.