Nothing Can Help My Comedy.

Reality Tv Has Totally Destroyed Soap Operas. They're Gone. They Used To Be The Biggest Thing In The World - They're Gone.

If They'd Wanted A Nice Parrot, They Wouldn't Have Asked For Me.

I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A Philanthropist.

If The Police Ever Try To Pick Me Up, Michael Jackson Told Me I Can Hide Out At His House.

I Always Feel That Most Political Jokes, If You're Going To Do Them, You Have To Do Them Within The Next Five Minutes, Or Else They're Outdated. By The Time You've Got It To The Point That It's Strong, It Would Be 12 Years Old.