Not All Shabby Is Chic,

You Know What They Say: 'why Sit At A Table That Doesn't Have Key Lime Pie On It If You Don't Have To?'

When It Seems Impossible That A Deep Connection With Another Person Could Just Go Away Instead Of Changing Form. It Seems Impossible That You Will One Day Look Up And Say The Words "i Used To Date Someone Who Lived In That Building," Referring To A Three-year Relationship. As Simple As If It Was A Pizza Place That Is Now A Dry Cleaner's. It Happens. Keep Walking.

I Can Say With A Solid Degree Of Authority That I Am A Selfish Person. I Spontaneously Forget The Names Of More People Than Not, Unless I Want To Make Out With Them. I Will Take The Last Square Of Toilet Paper Off The Roll Without Thinking Twice. I Tip Taxi Drivers So Poorly I'm Amazed None Of Them Have Run Over My Foot While Speeding Off.

What Annoyed Me Was That I So Often Attempted To Weasel Out Of Things On Purpose, It Killed Me To Do It By Accident. It Seemed Like A Waste Of Whatever Detailed Lie I Was Going To Have To Come Up With.

And There's Something About Having An Especially Different Name That Makes It Difficult To Imagine What You Would Be Like As A Jennifer.