Nobody Is Going To Try

All Three Of My Parents - I Also Had A Stepmother - Were Teachers, And My Dad Taught High School, And As He Always Reminded Me When I Was Going To Spend Some Money On Something, 'your Mother And I, In The Depression, Had To Decide Whether To Spend A Dime On A Loaf Of Bread Or If We Could Go To A Movie With It.'

To Label Me An Intellectual Is A Misunderstanding Of What That Is.

If I Were Running A Campaign, I'd Urge Taking The Mountain Of Money Reportedly Squandered On Pizza, Coffee And Bagels And Spending It More Wisely - On A Talented Young Comedy Writer.

I Think I'd Be Pretty Easy To Write For.

I'm Not Freakishly Short. I Had, On My Show, Used Shortness As A Joke Subject; It Didn't Really Bother Me.