No Matter What Any Of

I Know A Lot Of You Believe That Most People In The News Business Are Liberal. Let Me Tell You, I Know A Lot Of Them, And They Were Almost Evenly Divided This Time. Half Of Them Liked Senator Kerry; The Other Half Hated President Bush.

I Think A Draft Produces A Better Army Than The One We Would Have With All Volunteers, Because I Think You Get Average Americans If You Have A Draft. And If It's An All-volunteer Army, You Get People Who Join Up Because Of Some Problem In Their Own Lives. They Don't Have Anything Else To Do, They Don't Have A Job, Or They Can't Find What They Want To Do, So They Join The Army. And It Doesn't Produce The Best Army.

I Try To Look Nice. I Comb My Hair, I Tie My Tie, I Put On A Jacket, But I Draw The Line When It Comes To Trimming My Eyebrows. You Work With What You Got.

Bacon Is Clearly A Food Made By The Nazis To Fatten Up Americans. It Has No Nutritional Value, Is Full Of Fat, Sodium, And Nitrates, And Is A Pathetic Type Of Consumable Made From The Noblest Of Creatures.

We're All Proud Of Making Little Mistakes. It Gives Us The Feeling We Don't Make Any Big Ones.